MYCERINUS

AL MAMOUN: After Cephren, Mycerinus, son of Cheops, ascended the throne. He too left a pyramid, but much inferior in size to his father’s. this prince disapproved the conduct of his father and uncle, reopened the temples and allowed the people, who were ground down to the lowest point of misery, to return to their occupations and to resume the practice of sacrifices, when the stroke of calamity fell on him.

An oracle reached him from the town of Buto, which said; ‘Six years only shalt thou live upon the earth and in the seventh thou shalt end thy days.’ Mycerinus, indignant, sent an angry message to the oracle, reproaching god with his injustice – “My father and uncle,” he said, “though they shut up the temples, took no thought of the gods and destroyed multitudes of men, nevertheless enjoyed a long life; I, who am pious, am to die so soon!”

There came in reply a second message from the oracle – “For this very reason is thy life brought so quickly to a close – thou hast done as it behoved thee. The kingdom was fated to suffer affliction one hundred and fifty years – the two kings who preceded thee upon the throne understood this – thou has not understood it.”

MYSELF: Why did Mycerinus have that ding-dong with god?

AL MAMOUN: His gawky ways caused an irritant friction between himself and the Ineluctable Powers of Chaos.

MYSELF: Was that sufficient to kill him?

AL MAMOUN: No, but it caused a fatal accident.

We were walking together in the sunken orange groves, which was not in fact sunken at all. The mosaic floor was raised above the ground to give olfactory access to the blossoms and later manual proximity to the fruit. The unpicked fruit hung around us as we strolled around the tree-heads. Beneath us were irrigation vaults where gardeners toiled unseen.

MYSELF: Was Mycerinus cut out for kingship?

AL MAMOUN: Unfortunately not, he was an amiable man, pious and of good morals, but unsuited to the times.

MYSELF: What were his greatest faults?”

AL MAMOUN: I would like to tell you, but I am not sure I should. Then again, I like you, boy. They were irresolution and good nature.

I smiled. How were these great faults manifested?

AL MAMOUN: In consequence of the first, he was perpetually undoing what he had done; and in consequence of the second he forbore to punish those who deserved punishment.

MYSELF: Describe his appearance to me, Al.

Al Mamoun took a deep breath and recited the following in one exhalation:
A receding forehead, an aquiline nose and an immense double chin. He was short and stout, he waddled in his walk, he blinked with his eyes which were very near-sighted and snorted in breathing.
(gasp)

MYSELF: What was his character?

AL MAMOUN: He was kind-hearted but his intellect was sadly of a very ordinary stamp.

MYSELF (inadvertently revealing fore-knowledge of the answer): Of what was he passionately fond?

AL MAMOUN: Of clockwork and lock-making. He kept all the clocks in Blague in working order and had a room in the place fitted up with tools for filling, drilling, forging and working iron.

I knew of that room. I had found it myself, long before, and made use of the equipment therein with which to unshackle myself from Sgt Burly’s irons.

But that beano! I mean barney (my cockney’s out of whack): The one Mycerinus had with God. He got some bad news allright. I understood there was a strict rule that God never spoke until spoken-to, and I transcribed their little confab with God speaking first because I have no record of the question with which Mycerinus pestered Him. Mycerinus was always a god-botherer and a pest and no doubt He was sick of his interfering in His business and his nosey inquiries into His mysteries, and that was why He decided to do away with him. Mycerinus was always asking God fatuous questions, so God did him in. It’s as simple as that.

AL MAMOUN tried to explain: I cannot help thinking that if Mycerinus had had a better rapport with god, he might have been spared, but they were always awkward and fumbling in their dealings with one another. There was a lack of empathy. I don’t know, they just weren’t simpatico.